yes, im depress. & you cant even tell. to be honest, im hurt, lost, & confused. about what? my relationship. how come before he was the one that kept messing up, & i was the one being good. & now that he’s good, im the one messing up? i hate this shit. so now that i start messing up he starts to lie. which leads up, to other shit that i cant forget about. im jealous of him because he can find a way to let go of things from the past, & i cant..its always stuck in my head repeatedly. i can never forget his wrongs. he says, our relationship is UNFAiR. which i strongly AGREE. he talks to nobody but his family & a couple friends. but i have to always talk to everyone, which are mostly guys. how come i cant keep my mind straight anymore, like how it was before? i dislike the person i am now. how come when i was so committed to him, he was kinda like not so committed. & now that he’s committed, im like going towards the other way? i really want this relationship to workout. i know its on ME. i need to get my act straight. ;| i want to ask him for alone time ;; but i know ima miss him a day of not seeing him..days like these; keep me up.
shits.stuck in my head.
for the past couple days ; i feel like i havent been myself. like at all at all. i feel like its time to have my own time for myself. time, for myself to think about what i really want & what i really need. ive made bad decisions & im no where close to being happy. im not being the person who i was before. i felt like ive lost myself. i cant keep everything together anymore /: im confused, lost, mad, upset, etc. i think its time to think about life. what i want to do with my life. ugh, im fukcing lost. i dont know what to do. i dont want to run to anybody. i wanna do this myself & fix things myself because i know i can do this without anyone else.
USA lost many lives on 9-11-01 and now Japan has lost more lives on 3-10-11. add the 2 dates together and you get 12-21-12.
It’s getting to me
Babe for like a month now I’ve been fucking up on my part. & today everything just really hit me. I’ll you what I did wrong & no I won’t wait for you to find out for yourself. & NO I didn’t hook up with anyone or had sex with anyone. I just want you to know that, I’m sorry for what I’ma tell you. & NO I’m not breaking up with you, it’ll probably be the other way around. Like I said to you in the beginning of our relationship, I START TO FEEL GUILTY WHEN I DO THINGS BEHIND YOUR BACK OR IF IM DOING SOMETHING WRONG & I END UP TELLING YOU..